its amazing how things can go so up and down. i mean it seems like one thing makes you happy, then when you think of something it changes. i cant help to think about the past buh who doesnt? i mean come on, you cant get not think about it. some people dont and some people do. its not our fault, it just happens. buh as much as i think about the past, i cant help buh think how everything turned out now. yeah there are some "what ifs" and "buts", buh at the end of the day, i wouldnt change anything. and thats all reality right there. yes there are some people i would love and die to have back in my life, or be alive again. buh who knows, maybe it was made to be this way for a reason. as i ponder what was, im happy that i can see myself now and smile. truth is, sometimes the smile is fake still. i cant help buh think that i could of been somewhere totally different. if i woulda stayed where i was, would i ever have my two bestfriends back? if i woulda left washington, would i have the people in my life i do now? and if i woulda ended regretting half of the things i did/do, would i be the person i am today? i know the answers to all of these, buh sometimes i just like to think about it and wonder. i can honestly say, im glad with the choices ive made and all i am very proud of.
for one, i wouldnt have my friends back
i wouldnt have such a great guy around
and i wouldnt be happy, or at least some kind of happy that i am now
everything happens for a reason. its just the cycle of of this thing we like to call life.
no one understands it, no one probably never will
but at the end of the day, thats ohk. maybe were not meant to find out
and i dont plan to. i just plan to keep moving forward and hopefully the happiness will come to along the way.
